By Aaron Miller, MPP ‘13
Think like a honey badger – I just don’t give a shit, I just need to talk to her. She’s independent, she’s open-minded, she knows what she wants, I know what she wants – ME. Let’s roll.
Wait a minute. Was she one of those girls – wait, women – that sat down during orientation week because she is in a relationship? I better develop this further.
First off, she really is hot. But I’m not supposed to think like this. This is the Kennedy School! I must first consider intellect, personality, earning potential … earning potential? This isn’t the business school. What am I talking about, we’re all going into the public sector. Wait, duh! The Kennedy School doesn’t make admissions mistakes, so I know she is intellectual, has a strong personality and, and, and well I can consider physical attraction without coming across as a chauvinist pig! Nice, let’s role.
Wait, what about her friends. They are my friends too. Everyone knows everybody here. What if things don’t work out. Then I’d be screwed…or not screwed – snap! Ha … I’m an idiot. Think.
They all talk to each other – it’s like Orwell’s 1984, I can’t get away from this surveillance. Who can I talk too? How do I do this? I just want to talk to her – hey, maybe I can text her. But then there is a digital trail for her friends to laugh at … plus I hate those smiley face things.
Damn it. She caught me staring.
Ok, stop thinking just go talk to her. She’s mature and I am sure she will appreciate the direct approach. I’ll just say “Hey, I saw you from across the room, just wanted to say hello…” Yea … no that’s never going to work! This is so frustrating; this place is like high school all over again.
If I try to date her and it doesn’t work out, I’m done. All of her friends are the ones I’d be interested in anyway. It’s like a freakin’ cult. This is a bad idea.
While the above did not happen yesterday in my head, it is plausible that it could have occurred in a friend’s head. Think back to orientation week; the most concerning aspect for the single folk was not the impending school year, it was the number of single people left standing – about four. This is a real issue when you spend most of your time in the HKS bubble. But fear not, when you boil it down, this is a pretty selective group of people that might make for some pretty good company; it just takes some looking. And there is definitely plenty of looking going on. Scenes from Grease are acted out on a daily basis, from the arm-in-arm women to the preening men. Not sure if they’re single? A long enough conversation with enough personal questions will shed light. Worst thing that happens is you meet someone totally new with a perspective you never entertained. But if you’re looking to sleep around, remember: Don’t shit where you eat.